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31 December 04 I've slowly been weaning myself away from constant Internet access, and am happy to report that I am doing fine. I realize the majority of people with Net access (present company excluded) probably check their email only once a day, or so. Not me. Since I first learned of the wonder of electronic communication some twelve or more years ago, I've never been far from a computer. I spent my days emailing friends and reading usenet posts from work, and eventually was able to dial in through work and get Net access from home. Email and usenet (and later, irc and the Web) became my constant companions and my main way of communicating with friends, as well as a way to meet more people, which I never thought I could live without. Since the very early '90s, every place I've worked has had Internet access. A few years ago, as I was reevaluating my career options, I realized there may come a day when I no longer have a desk job and an electronic umbilical cord and this was a bit disturbing. How would I deal with not keeping in touch with friends for hours at a time?! Well, now that I spend my days in school, I'm learning that I can, in fact, spend hours away from the computer and survive. However, I've noticed that despite my necessary daytime exile, my evenings were often spent sitting at this very desk, making up for "lost time", pretty much disregarding more interesting endeavours. And that seems like a waste. The last couple of weeks I've not been logged onto irc. There are people there I miss chatting with on a daily basis, but this certainly doesn't mean I don't want to talk with them. Rather, I'm trying to do something rather than sit in front of my monitor waiting for interesting words to appear on the screen. I am trying to spend less time sitting here in general. Yeah, I still check mail several times a day, but I don't want it to run my life. Besides, my phone does text messages, so it's not like I'm that out of touch ;) 27 December 04 Mmm, it's been another couple of lazy days spent at home with my boyfriend, my cat, and a few good books. Christmas was very nice, and started the morning of the 24th as Frederick and I got in the car and started driving. When he asked what I wanted for Xmas, I replied "a trip to the Monterey Bay Aquarium", so we spent the day there. I saw a veritable school of sharks including many species I've dived with before (scalloped hammerheads, whitetip reef sharks, zebra shark) and the only white shark successfully kept in captivity. Wandering around we came across an education room that was currently being used by children working on art projects. But lining the walls were skulls and jars of preserved specimens, so I dragged Frederick in to examine them all. The most incredible thing was the large jar containing a humpback whale fetus. After a day at the aquarium we went out for a nice dinner, then retreated to our hotel to relax in front of the fireplace. I awoke Christmas morning to the sound of waves crashing on the beach beneath our room, and sun streaming in through the window. It was wonderful. Here are a bunch of photos I took. 23 December 04 What a great week it's been. Monday was my last day of finals and Frederick has both this week and next week off work, so now everyday feels like Saturday! We went to three holiday parties last weekend, saw a lot of good friends, and I've been doing a lot of reading. Tomorrow we're off to Monterey for a day & night, then seeing family on the drive back home. Life is good. Driving down 280 about Noon today there was a huge backup of cars heading towards the mall to do their last-minute shopping. But now that night has fallen, it's quiet in San Francisco. This town becomes relatively still around Xmas and New Year, I suppose because so many people go home for the holidays. "Home" for the holidays. If a person leaves their city of residence to visit their parents, why do they say they're going "home"? Isn't home where one lives? I live at home and go to visit my parents for the holidays. Although it wasn't until I left my parents' house, moved back, then out for a second (and final) time that their house no longer seemed like home to me. Since then, I've always been more comfortable in the place I lived than in the place I grew up. 16 December 04 Right now I'm studying for finals. To observe me, you would think "studying for finals" meant: do some research on Physiology review questions, check email, respond to email, check Livejournal, run downstairs and make lunch, come back and get on chat with boyfriend. I came across a question concerning neural plasticity and then had to listen to the song. I excel at finding distractions. As it is I cannot study in a cafe or while listening to music because then I wouldn't pay attention to my work. So many things are happening, either in my head or on the Interweb, that they demand immediate attention. It's a wonder I ever get anything done. 9 December 04 So much of what I write nowadays centers around school. I suppose it's only natural - school is the biggest thing in my life right now, save for my relationship. Because I have to be very disciplined to do well, my social life is more limited than it might be otherwise, and I have to be more selective about when and where I go out. Eh, oh well, that's how it has to be. And on the subject of school, I have so many friends and acquaintances who are back in school, either as undergraduates or in grad school. It's really cool. They're stuyding everything from business to photojournalism to academia, and more. But the funny thing is, everyone I can think of who's back in school is female. I wonder why that is? 9 December 04 I'm in this weird headspace with school right now. I'm done with Physiology, and I have one more meeting each of my Drawing and Speech classes. Finals don't start until a week from tomorrow. On one hand I feel "done" and am ready to move on to personal projects. Of course, I'm not done, and I can't yet abandon studying - not with finals coming up! And on top of that I'm feeling, well, not "separation anxiety", but I'm almost sorry my Physiology class is now over. It's been my favourite class to date, with my favourite teacher so far, and I'm a bit sad. I do wish there was a second semester I could move into, but alas, there is none. In further school musings, I'm beginning to toy with the idea of getting a minor in Zoology, along with my Nursing major. Zoology (and ethology) are my main areas of interest, after all, so why not?! 4 December 04 I feel like it's time to go to bed. Even though it's barely 7:00, it's been dark for a couple of hours and my internal clock thinks it is much later. It's funny - I can travel all over the world and never get jet-lagged, but the short days on either side of Winter Solstice really throw me off. Very soon I will finally get out of my PJs and shower in preparation for a friend's holiday cocktail party tonight. I'm looking forward to that. Last night we went to Frederick's company holiday party. Well, "holiday" party. It had a tropical theme, much in contrast with the chilly see-your-breath weather outside. The party was held in the Computer History Museum which was very cool. We literally spent hours looking at the exhibits. They had everything from slide rules to room-sized computers with 16k of memory that performed many calculations per second to a couple of Crays to an Apple G4, and everything in between. In a section highlighting Bay Area software pioneers, they even had a quote from a friend of mine. It really was a stroll through geek history. Okay, time to shower and wake up. 30 November 04 I am constantly amazed by how much I am learning in school. Not only the medically-related information, but general knowledge, to help me better understand the world around me. The more I widen my knowledge base, the more I comprehend references in everyday reading and conversations. A few years ago these things would have slipped right past me because I didn't know to catch them, but now they're plain as day. I wonder how much more I'll be able to catch in another couple of years? I'm glad I'm back in school now as an adult. I never went to college as a teenager for many reasons, but I doubt I would have done well if I had gone. Back then I had a lot of "potential", as they're fond of saying, but while I liked learning on my own, I didn't care for school; I wouldn't have taken it seriously. So now, being older and wiser(?), I know how to play this game. When the syllabus says "15% of your grade comes from attendance; 15% from participation" I know that just showing up and involving myself in discussions is going to raise my grade. It's really not that difficult to show up to two classes a week, yet so many people can't manage it. I turn in papers on time, do my research and follow the few rules they give me, and in turn am given as much information as I can soak up, and told be critical and think for myself. It's pretty darned cool. 21 November 04 For the last few years I've been keeping a list of the books I've read. This weekend I decided to put short descriptions/reviews with each book. If you've ever wondered what sort of stuff i like to read here's the list. 16 November 04 I went outside this afternoon to move my car when one of the neighbors, for some gawdforsaken reason, decided to grace me with his presence. I had previously described The Other Guy, and well, I have now confirmed my suspicions were correct. The Other Guy spoke to me in a mumbly slur, as benefits his stereotype. I learned that while he can drive, he has no license; somebody-or-other's car leaks a lot of water; and in fact, he is drunk by 9am every morning. On a related tangent, I'm not sure what it is about me that causes random people to reveal to me their secrets. Sometimes it'll be a new aquaintance at a party getting something off their chest, other times, it's a girl waiting for BART who feels the need to tell me about her boyfriend's penis. 15 November 04 Why is it that we can have a party where three bottles of vodka, a couple dozen cans of sodas and mixers, and several dozen beers were drunk, yet we end up with just as much booze as we started with? If whatever magic that causes that to happen can be identified, we can solve the problem of world hunger! 15 November 04 I am bad at keeping in touch with friends. I realize this, and although I'd like to get better about keeping in touch, a combination of busyness and laziness often stretches the days into weeks into months. But I do try to let friends know that even though I may not be calling or writing, it doesn't mean I have forgotten them for I do think of people often. I like to host parties to be able to give something back to my friends, and to "make up" for the way I am and let them know I do care about them. We'll invite people into our home and treat them to food and drink in hopes that they will enjoy themselves. Hosting a pleasant evening is my gift to my friends. This past Saturday night we had a house full of wonderful people, and I thank them all for coming. I hope everyone had as good a time as I. I think my only regret is that with so many people I wanted to see, I don't know if I had a chance to talk with everyone. I try to spend time with everyone without feeling like I'm flitting around too much and not giving people the attention they deserve. Maybe we'll just have to have another party so I can practice my conversation skills :) 10 November 04 I spoke with a counselor at school this morning, and I feel a little better now. Yes, it's true that I'll have to wait until next Fall to apply for CCSF's Nursing school. And it's also true that I only have one more class to go before I'm done with all of my prerequisites and graduation requirements. But I also got some other good information:
9 November 04 I'm discouraged with school. I stopped by the Nursing Department on campus today to get some information. I discovered that I cannot apply for the Nursing Program until after I've *completed* all of my prerequisites; I've met with counselors on multiple occasions in the past, and I was always led to believe that I could apply while my classes were still in progress, if I was in my last semester. If I had actually been told that, I would have arranged my schedule to finish the prereqs this semester. Instead, I will finish all of my prerequisites and all of my non-nursing graduation requirements in May, but I can't apply for nursing school until October, and then (if admitted) I'd start in January 2006. In the meantime I'll have two semesters with nothing to do but wait. I also confirmed that the Nursing Department is accepting new students based on a lottery system (which is no better than the first come-first serve system they previously used). This means that my 4.0 GPA, my years of health care work experience, and my health-related certifications mean NOTHING. This means that I might conceivably apply until kingdom come and never be admitted. This also means that those other students I've seen - the ones who really don't like science or medicine and are interested in nursing only because it's the current "hot" field, the ones barely passing classes with their 2.0 GPAs - they may very well be the ones caring for you the next time you're sick. So, yeah, I'm not feeling too motivated right now. 6 November 04 All my life I've loved to sleep. As a kid, my mom would have to drag me out of bed to open Xmas presents - I would have rather waited until I woke up on my own. When I was out of work a few years ago, I'd go to bed somewhere around Midnight or 2, then sleep nine hours, like clockwork. For the past year & a half I've been sleeping in a different bed (actually, we've tried a few different beds). I'm no longer able to tell why I'm not comfortable - is it too firm, too soft, something else? Many mornings I have to get out of bed because my back hurts too much to stay there. I've gotten so into the habit of getting up early that now I'm regularly up by 8am, even on weekends. Occasionally my back will be happy, and sometimes I'll sleep in all the way until 9:00! I am still by no means a morning person, but I have to admit, it is nice to wake up and have the whole day in front of me. I get so much more done compared to when I used to wake up at 11 or Noon. 2 November 04 The brain has an amazing capability of seeing only what it wants. With me, this often translates to how other peoples' lives are compared to my own. For instance, all throughout my childhood and adolescent years, it always seemed as though boys had easier lives than girls. The boys I saw always had more friends than I did, they seemed to get dates more easily, and never had to worry about becoming pregnant or getting a bladder infection. I often wished I was a boy for those reasons. In later years, when I was in a relationship it seemed as though the single people were the ones always out having fun, with a choice of social events every night. When I was single, it seemed like all the couples were buddying up and doing couple-y things. Now that I'm older and wiser(?) I see that I've had a chronic case of "the grass is always greener...". But I still often feel like other people have all the fun and excitement, and I'm still the last one to be picked during P.E. 26 October 04 I'm in a good mood right now. I just got home from my Physiology class - I am really enjoying it! I am learning so much about exactly how various body systems work and are connected with one another and I find it very cool. And our lab class consists of experimenting on ourselves and our fellow classmates, which makes it the best lab I've taken to date (although playing with cadavers runs a close second. I still need to see if I can find a school which will allow me to dissect a human, but I digress.) Today I hooked up EMG electrodes to my arm and listened to the sounds my muscles made as they contracted. Okay, the fact I get excited by stuff like this must mean I'm headed towards the correct line of work. Also, I'm going to write a report for Physiology class about the health benefits of beer. Mmm, beer. 22 October 04 I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up and:
20 October 04 I'm the sort of person that often ends up with bruises and marks having no idea where they came from. But today I outdid myself - halfway through the day my quads suddenly became sore! It was difficult to walk down stairs, and I felt like I had spent the last couple of days skiing. I have no idea why. On a completely different note, here are some photos from my friends' Zuad & Mike's going-away party this past weekend. 12 October 04 Fire touches some primal place within us. Part of me is really scared by it; seeing a couple of neighborhood houses burn as a child probably has something to do with that. Part of me likes the raw energy it generates, which explains why I've spent so much time in the desert watching 50 foot tall men burn to the ground. Right now the house is filled with the scent of burning wood. Normally that would conjure up images of snuggling next to a fireplace in a mountain cabin while the snow falls outside, but not this time. I can't enjoy that smell knowing it comes from ~100 miles away. Earlier today, visibility had dropped to one or two miles because of the smoke. It's weird seeing evidence of a large natural disaster without leaving the house. 11 October 04 Yay! Apparently the Powers That Be have heard my bitching about the miserably foggy "summer" we've been having, and have bestowed upon this City by the Bay a wonderful, warm and sunny day. However, "be careful what you wish for." The Weather Gods seem to have conspired with El Diablo de las Allergies, the end result being my head feels like it's stuffed with steel wool. Time for pharmaceutical combat. 10 October 04 Last night I attended the wedding of two friends of mine, Merin and Rusty, here in San Francisco. It was a nice ceremony and reception, and many other friends were there as well. I had a great time seeing everyone, had some very good conversations, and even danced to a few songs (I blame the free-flowing wine for that ;) ). After getting back home I immediately fell into a deep sleep, awaking somewhere around 6:30. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I finally got up about 7:30 to watch some TiVo, and ending up sleeping a bit longer on the couch. In the couple of years since I've been affected by allergies I have not been able to tolerate alcohol the way I used to, and that makes me sad. It's not just because I haven't been in practice, but drinking more than a couple of beers/glasses of wine takes a lot out of me the following day - I feel very run down and get sinus headaches. I enjoy drinking. I consider myself a beer snob, I love pairing good wines with good foods, and I like a cocktail now and again. Alcohol also provides a social lubricant which is a great help when I'm feeling shy, and yes, I do like the occasional drunkening. I am not happy about my allergies interfering with my life, no sirree. 7 October 04 I think I have an overdeveloped olfactory sense. Or maybe I'm just overly sensitive to smells. It's horrible to be able to detect scents on people who are standing a meter away. The worst smell, of course, is cigarettes. I can smell when someone walks in after having just smoked a cigarette, and if they happen to be within a couple of feet from me the smell makes me cough and gag. More subtle, but yet disgusting, is the smell of someone's gum, particularly the minty flavours. I really, really don't want to smell what's in your mouth. Perfume is only meant to be smelled by people within your personal space; the scent should not precede you into the room. And scented deodorant? Why would anyone want to smell their armpits all day long? Can you tell I buy a lot of "scent-free" products? 6 October 04 Just a quick little update to post some photos... Pictures from Howard's going-away party at Zeitgeist last night, plus older ZG pics. Pictures from our trip to the Northwest and B.C. last July: The very cool papermill near Portland, OR Taking the ferry to Vancouver Island Butchart Gardens, Victoria Rzr_Sqrl and the Sundial Bridge Other fun vacation photos 2 October 04 Reason #4096 Why I Love My Boyfriend: A couple of weeks ago he heard me relay my childhood tale of woe - several Christmases in a row I had asked for an Operation game, but I never got one. So last night he surprised me with, yup, an Operation game! | |||
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